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位置:魔方格 > 外語類>雅思> 雅思餅圖作文怎么寫?雅思寫作范文  正文

雅思餅圖作文怎么寫?雅思寫作范文

發布時間:2020-06-28 09:26:31來源:魔方格

雖然雅思小作文分數比重小于大作文,但是小作文的寫作相對比較容易操作。在此建議備考時間充足的烤鴨們注重提升寫作實力和寫作速度。那么完成一篇小作文應該從何做起呢? 我們首先分析一下6分餅圖范文,總結一些得分和十分的原因,做到心中有數。

C9T3——Band 6范文

The diagrams show statistic information regarding the ages of the habitants of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and also a estimative for 2050.

We can see that in 2000 the majority of people in Yemen was between 0 and 14 years old, whith 50.1%, whereas in Italy most of the population was between 15-59 years old (61.6%), in the same year. On the other hand, just 3.6% of people in the former country was 60 years old or more in 2000, while in the latter country this figure is represented with 24.1%.

The projections for 2050 show that the number of people with 15-59 years and 60 years or more will increase in Yemen, reaching 57.3% and 5.7% respectively. In contrast, in Italy, the population with 15-59 years will decrease to 46.2%, while people with 60 years or more will grow to 42.3%.

Overall, it is possible to see that there is an upward trend on the rates of people with 60 years or more in both countries.

下面我們結合考官評語,認真研讀這篇范文,明確得分點和扣分點,讓我們對自己的寫作水平有更明確的衡量標準。

(1) 任務完成情況:

(得分原因)The answer addresses the task, “reporting sufficient details”(信息比較全面) for the reader to be “accurately informed”(信息準確)

(失分原因)even though in each chart one element is “implied”(暗示) “rather than overtly stated”(沒有明確描述). (如范文第2段中沒有明確說明2000年也門15-59歲人口的比重以及意大利0到14歲的人口比重;再比如范文第3段中沒有明確說明兩個國家2050年0到14歲的人口比重)。

(得分原因) “Clear comparisons”(清晰的信息比較) are drawn between the two countries. An overview is given(總趨勢描述),

(失分原因) although focusing on only one age group reduces its clarity. (最后一段只總結了兩個國家60歲以上的人口的變化而忽視了另外兩個年齡段的總趨勢描述)。

(2) 連接性與連貫性:

(得分原因)The information is well organised and a range of linking devices used, e.g. whereas; the latter country.

以第二段為例讓我們一起體會連接詞的使用:

We can see that in 2000 the majority of people in Yemen was between 0 and 14 years old, with 50.1%, whereas in Italy most of the population was between 15-59 years old (61.6%), in the same year. On the other hand, just 3.6% of people in the former country was 60 years old or more in 2000, while in the latter country, this figure is represented with 24.1%.

(3) 詞匯:

(得分原因)”Vocabulary is adequate”(詞匯量和詞匯應用準確度足夠) for the task and “generally accurate”(基本準確),

(失分原因)though attempt to use less common words are less successful. A few errors occur in word formation e.g. statistic (statistical); estimative(estimate), but they “do not affect understanding”(有錯誤但是不影響理解).

(4) 語法:

(得分原因)Simple and complex sentence forms are produced with few grammatical errors,

(失分原因)but the range of structures is rather restricted(句式缺乏多樣性)

綜上我們根據“得分要素”總結答題步驟如下:

step1,找出要描述的信息的特征,比如占最多,增長快,保持不變等等。找出可以用來比較的信息,比如共同點,相反趨勢等等。

step2,組織段落,可以按趨勢分段,按比重分段,也可按時間分段。組織語言,盡可能把相關聯的內容寫到一起,用連接詞銜接。

step3,歸納總趨勢,找出最明顯的特征,最大變化,最有共性的信息等。

以下圖為例,烤鴨們自己來小試牛刀:

step1:首先信息選取:

(1) working 和sleeping最多,但是一個增多,一個減少

(2) 同樣減少的是going out with friends or families

(3) 相反花在relaxing at home和traveling to work的時間都有不同程度的增加。

(4) 只有other interest and sport playing的時間沒有發生變化

step2:

開頭:改寫

第一段(1)(2)

第二段But on the other hand(3)

第三段In contrast,(4)

step3: overview(結尾)

The chart shows the percentage of time working adults spent the day on different activities in a particular country in 1985 and 2008

相關內容: 雅思餅圖作文 雅思寫作 雅思范文

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