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　　冷笑話是近幾年才出現(xiàn)的新興語言現(xiàn)象，它以網(wǎng)絡(luò)為主要的傳播方式。它是幽默的一種特殊的表現(xiàn)形式，主要流傳于網(wǎng)頁，微博，貼吧等。下面是七考網(wǎng)小編精心收集的爆笑英語笑話，希望大家喜歡!

　　爆笑英語笑話篇一

　　So you want a day off. Let"s take a look at what you are asking for:

　　如果你要求休息一天，那就讓我們看看你一直都要求了些什么:

　　There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in

　　which you already have 2 days off per week， leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break, which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.

　　一年有365天可以用來工作。其中有52個星期，每個星期中你都可以休息2天，這樣就剩下了261天可以用來工作。可是在每天當(dāng)中你又有16個小時不工作，算起來這就是170天的時間，還有91天。你每天還要有30分鐘休息喝杯咖啡的時間，算起來每年就是23天，還剩下68天。每天一個小時的午飯時間，你又用了6天，還剩下22天可以用來工作。

　　You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available, for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year, which leaves only 1 day available for work and I" ll be darned if you are going to take that day off !

　　通常每年你還要請2天的病假。這就只剩20天可用來工作。可我們每年還有5天的假日，這樣工作的時間就減到了15天。每年還有14天的假期，這就只剩下一天了，如果就這一天你還要休息，那我就要瘋了。

　　爆笑英語笑話篇二

　　On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. "Be still, my heart,” thought the doctor, "my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!” "Then the child spoke into the instrument，"Welcome to McDonald"s. May I take your order?"

　　在去往幼兒園的路上，一個醫(yī)生把她的聽診器留在了汽車座位上，她的小女兒拿起聽診器玩了起來。“我后繼有人了，”醫(yī)生心想，“我的女兒想要繼續(xù)我的事業(yè)!”接著小孩對著聽診器說:“歡迎來到麥當(dāng)勞，我能為您做點什么嗎?”

　　爆笑英語笑話篇三

　　A psychiatrist’s secretary walked into his study and said, "There"s a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you. Claims he"s invisible.” The psychiatrist responded, "Tell him I can"t see him.”

　　一位精神學(xué)醫(yī)師的秘書走進他的書房，對他說:“有一位先生在候客廳，他想要見您，并聲稱自己是隱形人。”醫(yī)師回答道:“告訴他，我看不見他。”

　　爆笑英語笑話篇四

　　A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store.”

　　一個年輕人被一家超市錄用了，第一天去報到的時候，超市經(jīng)理微笑著與他握手致意，然后遞給他一個掃把，說道:“你的第一個工作是把商店打掃干凈。”

　　"But I" m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly.

　　“但是我是大學(xué)畢業(yè)生啊。”年輕人有些憤怒的答道。

　　"Oh, I’m sorry. I didn"t know that,” said the manager. "Here, give me the broom 一I"ll show you how.”

　　“噢，是這樣。”很抱歉，我不知道經(jīng)理說。“把掃把給我，我做個示范給你看。”